A note from me to you- this sort of turned into a rant in a few ways, only because it’s something I do really think and care about. It effects me and everyone else in some of the deepest ways.
I’ve always wondered what has happened to old school romance and why it seems that in my generation many people choose to be with someone, but also choose to not be faithful in one way or another. Unfortunately I’ve experienced this is every single one of my past relationships. Out of my 5 relationships, only in my current one have I not been cheated on or had really any major problems with. Of course there’s been bumps and problems along the way, we will be going on 1 year in February so it’s to be expected, but nothing like the past.
For me it personally pains myself still to this day to say I am 20 years old and have never been able to have even the slightest honest, faithful, good relationship until now. I’ve never shared much of what’s happened with anyone except a few close people. My choice in one or two of the boys I dated didn’t help the circumstances, but even the others who did have good hearts ended up hurting me in the most painful ways; sleeping with a friend/another girl, sexting or asking another girl for pictures, emotionally or even slightly physically abusive, the list goes on.. I am 20 years old and have experience enough shitty relationships to last a life time already.
I don’t understand why it has become so hard for someone to be faithful to the person they claim to love and care about or why all of a sudden they will change their mind about your relationship and leave for what they think will be better- going out and sleeping around, partying, and ruining all the potential they’ve held in themselves to do amazing things. It’s the “cool” thing to do, and if you only have eyes for one person, outsiders influence anything they can to change that; to make you the person they want you to be. They start to think that having the attention or affection of many is better than from just one single person who would give them the world.
A new solution for relationship problems is turning to another person to flirt or hang out with instead of fixing the problems, or simply leaving if they feel unhappy. Why fix or spice up something you and another person have put time, love, and effort into when you can go find a newer version to make yourself feel happy/attractive again for a brief moment, right? Instead of spicing up their relationship when they need an “ego boost” or to just get out of the everyday routine, they seek to spice up their life with someone else, physically or behind a screen. They would rather have the knowledge that they “still got it” flirting with and attracting new people, then working on what they already have even if they believe it’s what they truly want to last because it takes time and work.
Continuously I see from people around me, even the people you would least expect it from, are cheating for reasons that could simply be fixed or “just because.” They are forgetting what something like that can do to a person and it seems as though they don’t care. It’s like a game almost because if you’re the person whose been wronged and you decide to give them another chance, most of the time they just do it again and again until you throw your hands in the air, heart defeated, and just give up. More and more people are forgetting how to love, trust, and simply be faithful… and not just to significant others.
Friends are betraying friends for a night of messing around with the wrong person, to “fit in”, or because they think it’s fun. They’re lying to protect themselves because in the end they care about themselves more than you. That’s what my generation is turning into- caring more about themselves than others and doing whatever they please, no matter the cost. It’s odd that those closest to you will betray you in the worst of ways, intentional or not, and not bat an eyelash unless you find out.
Don’t get me wrong guys…
It’s okay to like pictures of someone that isn’t your boyfriend/girlfriend on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook, be friends with the opposite sex while being in a relationship, and talk to and engage with others. Flirting isn’t always intentional and it’s a natural human thing to do even while in a relationship, but there is a line that can be crossed with these things while in a relationship and that is what a lot of people don’t seem to understand. The internet and phones in general have made these things so much easier to do, and whenever I’ve asked why someone’s crossed these lines a typical response I’ve gotten is because it didn’t seem harmful or “real” because it’s over a screen, they didn’t care or just simply didn’t think about it. You can say and do anything behind these screens without feeling like you’re doing something wrong and people seem to take advantage of that often.
I find myself surrounded by people who just want and want and can never be satisfied with the simple things. Relationships are no longer held to the standards they used to be whether anyone will admit it or not. They aren’t taken care of, respected, or worked on like they used to be. I know it isn’t my generation alone that has had this problem, I just see it being an even bigger problem as the generations continue on.
People and new standards sometimes make me feel like I expect too much or have ridiculously high standards, but I don’t. It isn’t ridiculous to deserve respect and honesty. It isn’t crazy to want them to put in as much effort as they did in the beginning, when you yourself are putting as much effort into it as you can. Wanting your relationship to remain strong and continuously worked on ins’t asking to much. Keeping yourself for only that one person you’re with isn’t old school, it’s keeping your love, respect, and consideration for someone else alive and well.