Wandering

2015 is coming to a close in 19 days and I’ve come to realize that 2016 will be the year that I walk into with the biggest and most changes yet to this date. I’ve learned so much, good and bad through out 2015. I’ve lost many friends, some I even thought were family to me. I’ve been betrayed and screwed over in more ways than one. I’ve learned that most of the people I’ve been surrounded with are not people I want to be surrounded by. No matter how badly it could’ve been to let go, I had to for myself.

This year my eyes have been opened to how much I have put others emotions and needs in front of my own. I’ve realized how many extra chances I’ve been giving out to those who did not deserve them. I realized how blind I had made myself to those who had done me wrong. I finally realized a lot of things needed to change.

With how much has happened in such a short amount of time this year, I took these as chances to grow and change myself for the better. I try not to let myself react in unnecessary ways. I think before I speak. I always put others into consideration, but always continue to try and put myself first now. I’ve focused on my physical and mental health more. I’ve started letting go of all the toxins in my life.

All of these changes are showing me that I’ll be starting on almost a completely blank slate in 2016. It scares me to be honest. My support system has shrunk, I have all of 2-3 of the same friends that I started this year out with, and the challenges life throws my way are becoming harder and harder. These changes aren’t bad, but they certainly make me question myself and life more.

This year hasn’t been completely terrible. Quite a bit of good things have happened as well. My relationship is only getting better with time. I’ve done just as well -if not better- as I hoped I would in school. I still love my jobs and all my co-workers. I’ve gotten even closer to my family. I’ve been able to stand on my own two feet more often than not when life comes swinging my way, taking whatever it is head on.

It’s been some time since I’ve been able to say I’m proud of myself, but I am. I’m so proud of myself for overcoming all the tough obstacles that have tried to stop me in my tracks this year. It’s been a tough 2015, but I am ready and excited for what 2016 will have to offer me.

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